When a situation isn't working, of course, change it if you can. But what is the best way to go about changing something? How can you be good at bringing about change? Are you going to be able to change things well if you're all upset and angry and emotionally strung out about stuff? Or would you be better, more effective at making changes if you learned to be calm and OK about whatever is, “as is,” first, and yet still wanting and willing to improve it? That's why it's so important to at first accept each person, each situation, yourself, life itself, just as it is, just exactly as they are. To be able to say, “this is me, this is them, this is life, this is what is,” without adding all your own reactions and emotional and mental stuff to it. When you can do that, when you can learn acceptance–then you will start to make and see big changes in your own life and in the lives of others around you–and even in the world.
So, does acceptance mean giving up? Settling? Resigning yourself forever to something or someone?
No. No one ever has to accept anything forever, because it's not possible to accept the future in the present. Just as you can't experience the future now, you can't accept things that might happen in the future, now. For instance, you can't accept being a parapalegic forever. The future is vague, unreal–too big, too hard, too far away to deal with in the tiny instant of time–now–that you have to do anything in.
No one can accept being in pain forever, and fortunately, no one needs to, because it's not possible. But one can accept pain, or anything else, for this moment. Just as the only time we can live, laugh, love, be kind, be cruel, whatever, is in the present moment, the only time we can accept anything is while we're in the middle of right now, during the process of living with it. It's impossible to accept for tomorrow, because tomorrow isn't real. Who knows what strength or wisdom or support or change the future holds? Or disaster, for that matter. Paraphrasing Jesus, today's troubles are enough. Don't worry about tomorrow's, because tomorrow will be the time to take of them.
In one sense, acceptance means settling–but just for right now; resigning yourself, for this moment; giving up resisting and struggling and fighting against whatever it is you don't like, in this present instant. That's a hard enough task for now, and it is enough to bring the peace that is the beginning of change.
That's it. That's all. That's all acceptance means. And when you accept “what is” in your life, right now, without adding all the usual amount of stress, struggle, and strain that everyone tends to add to the bad stuff in their life, then you're in a good position–you're aware and present and capable of working in the here-and-now–the right place to start effectively making the changes you want to see in the future.
Next: Is acceptance Christian? Or is it based on some eastern philosophy or religion?